What is self-sabotage?

Someone said, “who needs enemies when you have yourself”, and that in a nutshell is a description of what self-sabotage is all about.

Everyone does something that is self-sabotaging once in a while. But when we continue to follow the same negative patterns in a relationship whilst we know that are hurting both ourselves and our partner, or eating unhealthy foods and knowing that we have health problems and these foods are just going to worsen the problem, we are firmly set in a pattern of self-sabotage. 

Self sabotage includes constantly employing behavior patterns that are destructive to our wellbeing. These patterns have become so firmly entrenched in our lives that we don’t even notice them, but what we do however, is complain about how bad our lives are and that we are a victim of circumstance.

In order to overcome self-sabotage we need to become aware of the emotions and fears that influence our actions. Once we have determined the cause of the destructive behavior, we can then take steps to prevent it from happening in the future. Examples of these fears include staying in a job that we know is not going to help us to grow because we are afraid of change, or staying in a destructive relationship where we know that we are constantly undermining ourselves or not being true to our own needs and values because we are afraid of being alone. Some of us may even allow others to speak to us with disrespect because it is important for us to be loved and accepted.

If you've been struggling with certain goals or making changes and matters just don't seem to be working out for you, take a look at the setbacks that were encountered when you tried to do things differently and then evaluate the situation. What are the fears that you are holding onto that are creating the obstacles for change? Why would your prefer to continue to self-sabotage yourself instead of making the decision to create a better life for yourself? Write down your findings in a journal for referral at a later stage.

When we start understand that we are in control of our own triumphs and even our own failures, we will be set free from all limitations! By developing clarity and insight about the outcomes that we want to create, we can put an end to the self-sabotage and focus our energies on working toward new goals that we will fully sustain in every way. We will then look back one day and see that instead of being our own worst saboteur, we have become our biggest fan!